Christian Taliban Chant

Christian Taliban Chant

 

Teliban, Taliban,

Tele-evangeliban,

Sell-a-ban, Yell-a-ban,

We’re the Christian Taliban!

 

Hogwarts ban, Janet ban,

Heathen dogs to Hell-iban

Million mom, Million man,

A Private Ryan swearing ban.

 

Condom ban, jelly ban,

Touch-your-secret-organ ban,

Hey, Focus-on-the-Family fan,

Bush and Dick are back again!

 

Hearing ban, taxing ban,

Photographing coffin ban.

Marriage ban, research ban,

Georgie is God’s right hand man.

 

Info ban, spying van,

Call Osama up again …

Rove may have a Master Plan

But Georgie is our right hand man.

 

Promise Keepers, march the land!

Victory is in our hand.

Black is white and White is grand,

More death means Jesus comes again.

 

Taliban, Teliban,

Tele-evangeliban,

Sell-a-ban, Yell-a-ban,

We’re the Christian Taliban!

2004

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Musings & Rants: Christianity | 1 Comment

Be the Media

Be the Media

 

It was May; despite all the marches and pleas, and against the weight of world opinion, we were bombing Iraq.   In footage on the BBC, in Reuters Feedroom,  it looked like, well, war:  messy, bloody.  Ordinary people doing what scared people do:  waiting in hospitals, buying the only weapons they could get their hands on, single shot rifles, huddling with their kids in the dark.  But here in the U.S., the war looked like a video game.  Unrecognizable objects erupted into cool explosions at a distance.  Beautiful tracers crossed the night sky above Baghdad, and the horizon glowed red.

 

I found myself huddling in the dark.  One morning, I woke up and stared bleakly at the computer.  The screen was black, but it still reminded me that somewhere on the other side of the world people were screaming.  I shuffled to the shower and thought, I have to either do something or get Prozac.

 

That afternoon, I found three pictures on the web and took them to a print shop.  By tomorrow?  By tomorrow, they promised, two foot by three, laminated.   When I picked them up, they were better – or worse—than I had imagined.  The child with lacerations all over his face cried out in reproof or pain.  The burned child, those empty eyes, was he dead or alive?  The acutely beautiful grey haired man who held a girl – he held me accountable.  And you could see that the colorful shreds hanging from her colorful pants were the shreds of her foot itself.

 

I got scared.  I sent out email and made calls asking if any of my friends wanted to come with me.  No one had the stomach.  So the next morning, I put my kids on the bus, taped the signs to tall poles, two facing forward, one back, and started walking.

 

“Ugh!  What’s that?” was the first reaction I got.  (A homeless woman.)  I explained.  “We did that?!”  She walked away, shaking her head, stopping several times to look back.  An aging black man crossed the street to look closer and to encourage me.  “You go girl!”  I kept walking, across Capitol Hill and down into the heart of Seattle.  The business district.  The tourist district.  “Do you think I want to look at that?” snapped one woman.  “No,” I answered.  “I don’t think the Iraqis do either.”

 

From nine to four, I walked my home town.  Several people said thank you.  Several said fuck you.   Some stopped to tell their stories.  From the print shop, the Pakistani man who had done the lamination came downtown and stood by me for several hours.   Mostly people looked and looked again and looked away.  I figured by the time I reached home, exhausted and shaky and not needing Prozac, between five and ten thousand people had seen those pictures.  I am the media.

 

TIPS: 

  1. Engage someone new.  Your friends probably know what you think, and they probably think like you.   Push outside your comfort zone.
  2. Go boldly.  What you have to say is crucial.  What you have to show is powerful.
  3. Go in peace.  If someone engages you, either positively or negatively about what you are communicating, they already hold strong opinions.  Those most open to your message and in need of it will pass in silence. 
  4. Remember, you are planting seeds, not changing minds.   Small bits of information and experience accumulate until they trigger radical shifts.

10/22/03

 

             

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Election Science

Election Science

 

An election, however imperfect, is a scientific process. It is an attempt to gather factual, empirical evidence about which candidate the people prefer.  Instead of guessing or trusting instinct or listening to whoever shouts the loudest, we do our best to measure who is most popular.   Like any measurement, our results are only as good as our accuracy.  Accuracy is affected by errors, which are called "error variance."  If we are trying to say there is a difference between two things, for example cancer rates for people who ingest mercury and people who do not, we compare numbers.  We announce that there is a difference only if the numerical difference between the two groups is greater than the error variance.  This is called "statistical significance." 

 

If a seeming difference between two groups fails to meet this standard, we cannot assert that the two groups are different. We say that the results are "statistically insignificant."  Alternately, we say the difference may have occurred by chance.  This is because chance, or factors outside of the experimenter’s control, could tip this small difference in one direction one time and in the other direction another.    

 

In the case of an election, as an empirical method, the same mathematical principles apply.  When we obtain a difference of 42 votes out of 2.6 million, this doesn’t mean that the number 42 is significant, either statistically or otherwise.  It means we don’t know who would have won if our measurements were perfectly accurate.  The only thing we are sure of is that the seeming difference between the two candidates is smaller than all of the errors we have made in gathering votes and adding them up.   

 

If we could get rid of our errors, we might find that there is a real, albeit small difference between the two groups.  In science, this is what repeated experiments attempt to do.  In election science, this is what recounts attempt to do.  By them, we reduce the error variance in order to measure more accurately.  Think about a man balancing a checkbook.  He wants to know if he has enough in the account to pay off his credit card or if he needs to wait.  He adds twice to be sure and gets different numbers each time.  Now he doesn’t know if the first number was correct, or the second, or another number altogether.  He knows that somewhere, somehow he is making mistakes.  So, he adds again (and again, if need be), catching errors, until his tallies converge on a single number.  A recount is similar, although more complex.  Someone adding a checkbook can add enough times to obtain a certain result.  This is not possible with an election, but we can come close.  

 

Historically, hand counts are considered more accurate than machine counts.  This is because our machine technology is very imperfect.  Remember, the thing we are trying to measure is the will of the voter.  At times, a human can discern what the voter intended when a machine, programmed with a very few simple decision making rules, cannot.  Over time, as our technology improves, machine counts will become more accurate than hand counts.   Right now, we are in transition to new technologies, each of which is susceptible to its own kind of errors.  At this point recounts are the only method we have for getting as close as possible to what’s real.  

 

The more people understand this process, the more they are able to advocate their own values and interests and the more we are able to continue improving the system. 

11/04      

 

 

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India, October 2004

India  October 23, 2004

 

Part I:  I’m sitting in a scruffy internet cafe on my last morning in Delhi.  I had my chai and puri (lentil stew) accompanied by a book of Pakistani short stories at a stand by the train station while bicycle rickshaws and motor rickshaws and people on foot and the occasional cow slid  past stirring dust and scattering yesterday’s garbage.  That was at 6:30, with the city just coming to life.  Now it’s 9:30, I’ve since had a nap, and it seemed like a good time to reflect on the trip. 

 

India is, as always, intense in every way imaginable.  In the ten years since Brian and I were here last, more than 100,000,000 people have joined those already crowding the continent.  High tech centers have sprung up on the denuded plains, surrounded by middle class housing blocks-thousands of units, some rising ten or more stories, and glittery malls.  Yet still, dark faced children, dark by Indian standards, rattle the car windows begging for rupees, and empty lots are scattered with old plastic bags and human feces.  Even the cows seem to prefer the city streets; being wise and holy, they should know. 

 

I woke my first morning in Delhi, and peered out my third story window at the Jama Masjid, a regal red sand-stone mosque built by the mogul conquerors almost a millennium ago. Its open courtyard holds 20,000, and a fluted minaret rises above graceful domes.  Down below, the sidewalks were lined by sleepers, each person wrapped tightly in a thin blanket as if shrouded for burial.  The sun was a dull red ball, though well above the horizon, all light filtered by dull yellow air.  Delhi’s air quality is impressively bad; it burns your eyes, scrapes your throat, and leaves black dirt in the creases of your neck and on your handkerchief.  Residents here, however, find it relievingly good since all city buses and motor rickshaws were forcibly switched to compressed natural gas a couple of years ago.   As the sleepers woke and bathed (clothed) at public faucets, shopkeepers emerged and then shoppers, and the streets filled with human traffic, shoulder to shoulder, bicycles and rickshaws and motorbikes and push carts squeezing past each other in an intricate shuffle that almost never resulted in collisions or conflict. 

 

The shops of the old city are crammed with everything from electronics to used ball bearings, with battered bumpers and custom party invitations and enormous aluminum water pots and cheap watches and stainless steel dish racks and tiffin tins.  Most dramatic, perhaps, were the jewelry stores proudly displaying wedding sets that look like museum pieces made of intricate gold work inlaid with colorful gem stones.  Narrow alleyways along Chowdry Chawk (the old bazaar) are lined with fabric stores, each a small padded cubicle stacked floor to ceiling with everything from the cheapest synthetics to beaded and embroidered silks, all in bright colors, with fine wedding saris gleaming red and gold displayed proudly as space allowed.  Slip off your shoes and step inside.  The proprietors don’t mind unfolding length after length of dazzling fabrics, confident that they have something for everyone, or else that indebted gratitude will eventually require a purchase.     

 

My second morning in the capital, I woke to sheer elegance at the five-star Trident Hilton where Microsoft had graciously decided to house the upper management people sent for a week of Indian immersion. (In fairness, the most important aspects of the immersion were the functionings of the Indian government and global corporations, and this immersion was effective and thorough.)  Built on the scale of a mogul palace, the hotel has soaring domes lined with gold leaf, expansive reflecting pools from which leap flames of invisible torches at nightfall, impossibly long halls that seem like mirrored illusions but are not.  Line and curve are impeccably scaled, ornamentation is spare, and the whole is stunningly beautiful, evocative, inspiring.

 

The Spanish have two words for poverty.  Pobreza is poverty, pure and simple.  It is an economic status.  It need not lack dignity.  Miseria is wretched, vile poverty, degraded and desperate, the kind that makes you beg or sell your body or that of your child or drink water you know is contaminated with animal filth or live with open sores.  India creates two things like no where else I have ever been:  elegance and miseria.  It has throughout recorded history.  Both are overwhelming. 

     

Part II: 

From the confines of my prosperous, American experience, India’s popular culture and politics are as radical as her extremes of elegance and degradation.  Headline news this week was the shoot out that killed India’s most wanted bandit, Verapeem?, who was flushed out of his jungle lair in a masterful sting operation by joint police teams from the southern states of Kerala and Tamil Nadu.  Infiltrators arranged a fake ambulance to carry him in secret for diabetes treatment and eye surgery.  Alas for him, they were met by a truck full of central police armed with automatic weapons as were he and his cronies. 

 

 Newspapers showed his mottled face, the fatal bullet hole a dark dimple above the left eye.  Behind him in the morgue could be seen the profiles of three gang members who joined him in death.  After almost forty years of terrorizing two states, it is hard to think he deserved better.  During that time he is said to have poached 200 elephants and, then, when the international ivory trade was banned, he switch to sandalwood, shipping an estimated 10,000 tons out of India’s  patchy jungles.  He killed 123 people, mostly law enforcement and forestry officers (forest rangers) who got in his way.  He kidnapped an ex-minister of Kerala and executed him when his demands weren’t met.  It is said that he kept the head of one forestry officer as a trophy.  Thanks to Robin Hood manouvers that kept some villagers on his side, and thanks to infighting among law enforcement agencies, he managed to evade arrest for decades.  20,000 people converged to celebrate his removal.

 

Had Verapeem only surrendered and served time twenty years ago, he might be a politician by now.  Other bandits have made the transition quite successfully.  Indians, especially in poor states such as Bijar, have an astounding history of electing thugs to office.  There are people in state government with links to fraud, smuggling, even murder, – an unbelievable array of felonies either charged or suspected.  Our own history of back room deals, graft and privilege pales by comparison.  Ignoring the international behavior of the United States, we are weenies when it comes to racketeering and thuggery.  Same with election fraud.  A friend who worked for USAID once commented that there is no form of election fraud that wasn’t invented in the United States.  But India is, as in all else, dramatically impressive. 

 

The same is true for nepotism.  We may think it peculiar that our two presidential candidates are from the same university and the same secret society.  We may comment on the fact that a number of political appointees were college buddies and Texas colleagues of the president .  We may note that a high percentage of fundraising "pioneers" are now diplomats.  But Indian politicians overtly groom their offspring for dynastic succession.  People complain, but the populace gives the green light with their votes, and so the practice continues.  The current president of congress, Sonja Gandhi, for example, is the Italian born wife of prime minister Rajiv Gandhi (assassinated)  who was the son of Indira Gandhi (assassinated) who was the daughter of Nehru.  Nepotism trumps sexism. 

 

Educated Indians, like people all over the world are watching the upcoming U.S. election closely.   Indians typically prefer Democrats in office, seeing themselves more closely aligned with the Democrats than Republicans on issues such as distributive justice, internationalism, the environment, and education.  However, in this election, they are one of two recently surveyed countries who are evenly divided.  According to local analysis, one factor that has played into the split opinion is that Indians think it may be harder to get the Democrats to sell recent weapons technologies that they want for their arms race with Pakistan.  This administration is seen as a strong supporter of the international weapons trade.      The other factor is that  Kerry has taken a hard line on outsourcing.  Outsourcing has been a huge boost for the Indian economy.  Not only in high tech and manufacturing, but in customer support and indirect sales, India has become a big player.  If I have my numbers correct, India is home to about 50 million English speakers, second only to the U.S.  With call centers being located here to take advantage of high levels of education and low wages, training courses have sprung up to help Indians replace their characteristic accent with a southern drawl.  Some, with dubious ethics, even help call center staff to develop personas.  "Hah, Ahm Susi from Amarilluh, Texas.  What can ah do for y’all t’day?" 

 

 

 

  

Part III:

 

As in all else, environmentally India is a land of extremes.  The vast majority of the continent is stripped, consumed as if by a plague of human locusts and rapidly headed for salinization and sterility.  From a population standpoint, India is slated to outstrip China soon, and a Calcutta family that hosted me one night commented that population growth is India’s biggest problem.  This perspective is widespread.  (Interestingly, I have yet to met an Indian with any amount of prosperity, from motor rickshaw drivers up, who has more than two children.  Even within the religions that discourage family planning – Islam and Christianity – educated adherents practice birth control.  The growth is all in the lowest socio-economic layer, no small source of social tension.)  But here is the contrast:   Brian and I spent our week together in the State of Sikkim, in the foothills of the Himalayas, surrounded by natural beauty that rivals anything I have ever seen. 

 

Sikkim is bordered by Nepal, Tibet, and Bhutan, and culturally reflects this convergence. Buddhism is the majority religion and Nepali is the majority ethnic-linguistic group.   Until the ’60’s I believe, Sikkim was an independent monarchy.  But in the aftermath of China’s annexation of Tibet and systematic program of cultural displacement, the Sikkimese voted overwhelmingly to join India, which promised them a substantial degree of cultural and political autonomy.  The government of Sikkim has strongly socialist (if not Marxist) leanings, with all of the positives and negatives implied.  Public works are a priority, as is universal education — and the dream of universal employment means that people are employed in wildly inefficient occupations such as cutting roadside grass with hand-scythes. 

 

Overall, socio-economic status, the status of women, and the quality of the environment are dramatically better than in the surrounding regions. Environmental protection is promoted- plastic bags are banned, ecotourism development subsidized, and cutting of trees without permits forbidden.  Pro-social and pro-environmental slogans, some hilariously contorted, line the roads.    "You sleep, your family weep" cautioned one roadside sign.  "Plant a tree for meditation; plant a tree for future generation," advocated another.  "Cut a tree, win a landslide for free," quipped a sign in front of a bookstore.  

 

From Siliguri – a hot dusty town on the plains, we flew to Gangtok (6000 ft?), the capital of Sikkim by helicopter.  During the thirty minute ride (a ridiculous, subsidized $30 U.S.) we rose over thickly forested near-vertical "hills," with winding mountain roads emerging below us and disappearing again on the contorted hillsides.  The town of Gangtok is perched on a steep slope, crowned by a ridge that is lined with gardens and capped by the (modest) palace of the ex royal family.  Streets run in wide switchbacks, layered down the mountainside, and stairs connect one level with another for foot traffic.  Gangtok is a mix of ugly cement tenements and quirky local architecture with traditional Tibetan boxiness.  But whatever the town lacks in architectural beauty, it makes up in setting.  We woke one morning before dawn to watch the sun rise over behind snow capped Kachenjunga and the next did it again. 

 

From Gangtok, we hired a car and spent two days winding through river valleys, over precarious ridge roads, through tea plantations, past monasteries and dramatic waterfalls – to Pellnig and Nemchi, both more modest than Gangtok from the standpoint of human creations and proportionally more dramatic in natural beauty.  And always, we were welcomed by  fluttering prayer flags, in a flurry of color or in dingy white, on bamboo poles ten feet tall or twenty, or strung between trees and houses and fences. I wondered – is it too trite to ask? – if we had chanced across the most beautiful place on earth. 

 

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Defying the Waltons

Defying the Waltons

 

 

It’s a hot trend (I’m not making this up):  Upscale stores and name brands work to distinguish themselves based on how much good they do for the environment.  Fashion designers labor to get their names associated with endangered species. Trendy New York stores proudly announce their donations to social programs. 

 

Great!  I don’t care why they are promoting the environment and social justice, as long as they’re doing it.  Problem is, I don’t have any opportunity to show my support for these guys or my lack thereof for their less "noble" competitors because I don’t buy their products anyways.  Never have, never will.  I’m a bargain basement live-to-haggle kind of female. 

 

Turns out I may get to cast my cash ballot after all.

 

Until recently, the only problem I had with Walmart was that their stores were ugly.  Well, also they reminded me of the K-Mart up the street when I was a kid:  Chintzy, cheap, everything looking like it was manufactured using discount materials and methods even if you didn’t buy it on Blue Light Special.   I preferred the battered wood floors of my local Value Village and their sagging racks of old stuff. At least when their merchandise was being made, nobody knew I was going to buy it for a tenth of its retail "value."  They didn’t plan that into the weight of cotton in the jeans or the durability of the plastic toys or the amount of human labor that went in to painting the birdhouses.   But I’ll confess, sometimes those Walmart bargains got me.   

 

Recently, though, ugly snippets have been creeping into my awareness. 

 

In November, Business Week profiled America’s top philanthropists.  The Walton family, with 108 billion in assets had given away one percent.  (This contrasts, for example, with Bill and Melinda Gates who have around 45 billion and have given away approximately half as much as they now own.)  Petty of me, perhaps, but I couldn’t help being disappointed in Sam’s family.

 

Then, during the holidays, I read that Walmart’s predatory toy pricing was driving Toys R Us and FAO Schwartz to the brink of extinction.   Because Walmart sells such a wide range of merchandise, they can (and apparently do at times) target a specific retail sector or a specific product and sell it at a loss.  As big as they are, they can afford to live off of the profits from other sectors until their competitors shrivel up and die. Walmart can lose money on toys indefinitely because they sell food, clothes, tools, cigarettes, canoe paddles, and nasal syringes.  Toys R Us can’t, because they sell only toys. 

 

Now I don’t care a rat’s patooee about Toys R Us or FAO Schwartz.  I still haven’t forgiven Toys R Us for marketing a Nintendo game called Contra (ie. contra the Sandinistas) back in the early Eighties.  When I do get coerced into stepping through their doors for the absolutely right set of Legos or the nearest diaper wipes, I bring my Southwest Airlines barf bag just in case I accidentally trip into a full aisle of pink Barbie accessories.  And FAO Schwartz! If they’re still on their feet, they’re most likely elbowing to the front in a line of snoity Fifth Avenue boutiques, flaunting some endangered species picture that’s pinned to their logo.  No loyalty from me.  All the same, if these enormous, well capitalized toy retailers were gasping, I found myself wondering about the little shop down the street.

 

Speaking of the little guy, I couldn’t help wondering also about the little store south of the border when I read that Walmart had managed to capture a third of all household expenditures in Mexico last year.  Can it be???  Maybe the New Internationalist had their numbers wrong.

 

Next I read in The Tampa Tribune about an indigenous Florida grocery store chain closing stores and laying off 1500 employees because they’d been out-competed by you know who.  Then came the article in the Seattle Post Intelligencer about a class action suit against Wal-baby because they were compelling their employees to work overtime without pay.  Simultaneously Walmart was being dissed on the net for paying minimum wage to those employees who were actually allowed to punch in. 

 

By this point, I’m starting to feel like The Waltons just ain’t good wholesome family entertainment. 

 

Then, while I’m trapped in coach class my husband hands me a copy of Fast Company.  One of the lead articles is an expose about Walmart squeezing their suppliers.  It’s about those vendors getting squeezed so hard that they are squeezed right into bankruptcy court or into shipping containers that carry them to places where they can save a few cents by not offering their employees things like health care or living wages or overhead lighting.   When I’m done reading I have the urge to wash my hands with disinfectant.

 

Now I get worried.  I’m a big fan of Costco, to the point that I’ve been accused of doing guerrilla marketing for them.  What if they’re slimeballs too?   So the next time I go to Costco, I march up to the Customer Service Counter, and I say, "I spend a lot of money here and I want to know what I’m really buying."  I tell the poor woman behind the counter what I’ve heard about Walmart. 

 

"I don’t know about suppliers," she says.  "All I can tell you is that they treat us really well."  (I kind of suspected that already.  There’s gotta be some reason when the cashiers are funny, smart and working their butts off and when the same guy checks your receipt for six years running.) She gives me a phone number for Corporate.  I call, repeat my question three times, and — get this– they put me through to the office of some Senior Vice President, who calls my house twice and finally leaves a number where I can reach him at 7:30 in the morning.   

 

He won’t talk bad about The Waltons to a random stranger at 7:30 a.m.  The closest he gets is something like this, "We don’t act in the same fashion as some of the things I’ve read about our competitors."  What he does say is that corporate policy is to respect suppliers, which is why it’s posted in the stores.  Costco aims to not retail more than thirty percent of any given vendor’s product.  That way the vendor still has a viable business if the contract is terminated.  After two years of working together, a contract with a vendor can’t be terminated without sign-off from two senior execs.  There are "no annuities", he said.  If a supplier can’t compete on quality and price, they won’t be around long.  However, the goal is to be tough but fair.  "If our vendors don’t prosper, we both lose."   Hmm.  Maybe there’s a reason Costco’s not hitting the pages of the Post Intelligencer, the Tampa Tribune, the New Internationalist, and Fast Company.

 

I do a little research on the employee thing.  Those hard-working warehouse staff are starting around $10, i.e. a couple bucks above minimum, and a cashier with ten years experience is making more than 40K — plus almost forty percent more in benefits.  In fact, the overall average is thirty-eight percent in benefits.  Most of their warehouse managers started on the floor and liked the place well enough to climb through the ranks.    The point being: making a profit doesn’t have to mean sucking the life blood out of everyone around you, inside your org and out, which doesn’t make Sam Boy Walton and his clan look any better.

 

So I’m voting with my dollars.  Walmart and their warehouse chain, Sam’s Club, are out.  They are out even if they paint spotted owls, Asian elephants or poison dart frogs on every product in the store.  Heck, I’d rather set foot in Saks. 

1/29/04 

 

50 top philanthropists:  http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/03_48/b3860605.htm

 

New Internationalist re Mexico: 

http://www.newint.org/issue325/worldbeaters.htm

http://www.newint.org/issue363/keynote.htm – 41k – 2004-01-15

 

Kash ‘N Karry:

http://www.tampatrib.com/News/MGAIUOQTHPD.html

 

KB Toys:

http://www.starbanner.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20040129/APF/401290695

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